интеллигентный анекдот))

[Buried by Time & Dust]

В те далёкие времена, когда я учился в музыкальной школе, отец любил частенько рассказывать мне "музыкальный" анекдот. Он его сам толком не помнил, поэтому постоянно путался и каждый раз рассказывал по разному. Но суть анекдота была в следующем:

Однажды Бетховен пришёл в ресторан. Поел Мясковского с Хренниковым и со СмЕтаной. Выпил Чайковского. Тем временем в углу на Шостаковиче заливался Соловьёв Седой. Затем Бетховен заплатил Пятницкого и собрался уходить. Тут вдруг ему стало Паганини, живот стало Пуччини, и он Штраусом побежал по Глинке. На пути лежала Могучая Кучка Мусоргского. Бетховен забежал за угол, присел и - Бах! Сорвал Лист, Стряхнул Россини, Вытер Шопена...

Сейчас решил посикать полную версию этого анекдота в сети. Вот что нашёл:

Композиторы пригласили Шостаковича на вечер и угостили сначала Чайковским с Бизе, а потом Мясковским с Хренниковым, отчего у него случились Пуччини и Понкьелли. Шостакович набросил Шуберта и вышел на Дворжака. Там он залез на кучу Мусоргского, сделал мощного Баха, а потом и Могучую Кучку. Затем он сорвал Листа, стряхнул с него Россини и вытер им Шопена. Потом он взял палку, смешал Гуно с Глинкой, и изумленные композиторы увидели знаменитую 9-ю симфонию.

Как запомнить композиторов:
Я проснулся рано утром и продрал Глазунова. Затем встал, поел Мясковского с Хренниковым и Сметаной и запил Чайковским. После чего расчесал Бородина, одел Шуберта, Шаляпина с пером Штраусса и вышел прогуляться во Дворжака. Тут у меня в Животове сделалось Пуччини и захотелось Паганини. Я присел у кучи Мусоргского и раздался Бах со Свистуновым. Тогда я сорвал растущий рядом Лист, покрытый Россини и вытер свой Шопен. А Гуно присыпал Глинкой.

Бетховен решил пообедать. Съел Мясковского с Хренниковым, запил Чайковским с Бизе. Вдруг его стало Пучини. Ему стало очень Паганини. Он схватил Шуберта и выбежал во Дворжак. Там он сел у Мусоргского на Глинку и сделал Бах Шумана... Оглянулся на Могучую Кучку-а там всего лишь Глинка и Гуно. Сорвал он Лист с Россини и вытер им Шопена. "Бизе, наверное был Тухманов"-подумал он, тут пошёл дождь... Бетховен промок до Шнитке.

Римский-Корсаков проснулся, протер Глазуновского, расчесал Бородина, накинул на плечи Шуберта и пошел в ресторан. Там заказал себе Чайковского с Бизе и Хренникова с маслице. После чего в животе почувствовал Пучини, вышел на Дворжека, сделал Бах с Шуменом, сорвал Листа, стряхнул с него Россини, вытер Шопена и оставил могучую кучку на Глинке...

Один композитор написал свою четвёртую симфонию и выдвинул ёё на совет композиторов.
Там её утвердили как образцовую, пили до поздна.
Проснувшись утром композитор протерел Глазунова, погладил Бородина, пошел на кухню и попил Чайковского с Бизе и поел Мясникова с Хренниковым; оказалось мало, добавил Сметаны, от чего в животе стало Пучини. Надев Шуберта, забыв надеть Шаляпина он выбежал во Дворжик и забежав за Мусоргского снял штаны и зделал Бах, от чего в воздухе стало Паганини. Сорвав Листа, стряхнув с него Россини он сделел несколько раз Шкрябиным по Шопену. Затем смешав Гумно с Глинкой он пошел писать свою пятую симфонию.

Вроде бы всё что в гугле нашёл - то сюда перепостил, остальное повторы. Как видно, версий несколько и все они разные, местами дополняют друг друга, местами дублируют. Но имхо та версия, которую мне рассказывал отец - самая ёмкая и самая смешная.

@музыка: ретро-FM на работе настойчиво поёт "Паааааааара домой"... намекаетЪ.

@настроение: ок.

@темы: а, бля, такая херь!!!, открыл шкаф - а на меня оттуда хрень попёрла

Comments

[Гость]

Добрый день! Я частный интернет-маркетолог. Ведущий специалист Яндекс.Директ. Занимаюсь настройкой и оптимизацией рекламных каналов. Возможно буду полезен вам.

С кейсами можно ознакомится здесь:
teletype.in/@kolomiets_anton/portfolio

Отзывы на официальной платформе Яндекс:
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"Хочу обсудить проект! Как с вами связаться?" - просто напишите в ТГ
t.me/ChakaLakaru
WhatsApp: l.clck.bar/70dec8
или позвоните по номеру [phone]

[Гость]

Добрый день! Я частный интернет-маркетолог. Ведущий специалист Яндекс.Директ. Занимаюсь настройкой и оптимизацией рекламных каналов. Возможно буду полезен вам.

С кейсами можно ознакомится здесь:
teletype.in/@kolomiets_anton/portfolio

Отзывы на официальной платформе Яндекс:
direct.yandex.ru/dna/freelancers/pixel-grant

"Хочу обсудить проект! Как с вами связаться?" - просто напишите в ТГ
t.me/ChakaLakaru
WhatsApp: l.clck.bar/70dec8
или позвоните по номеру [phone]

[Гость]

Убей конкурента! Неудаляемые отрицательные отзывы – всего по 100р.!
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Перед тем как платить, клиенты всегда смотрят в интернете отзывы. На нашем сайте www.otzyvru.com, первом независимом сайте отзывов России, Вы можете разместить любой негативный отзыв на своего конкурента, низкое качество товаров и услуг, что они жулики и мошенники, и что после оплаты клиент ничего не получит! Начитавшись таких отзывов, все клиенты будут Ваши! Отзывы размещаются практически любые, в том числе от анонимных авторов! Отзыв размещается с гарантией, у конкурента не будет шансов снять его с публикации! Наш сайт www.otzyvru.com – это Ваш шанс обойти конкурента на повороте!

[Гость]

Убей конкурента! Неудаляемые отрицательные отзывы – всего по 100р.!
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Перед тем как платить, клиенты всегда смотрят в интернете отзывы. На нашем сайте www.otzyvru.com, первом независимом сайте отзывов России, Вы можете разместить любой негативный отзыв на своего конкурента, низкое качество товаров и услуг, что они жулики и мошенники, и что после оплаты клиент ничего не получит! Начитавшись таких отзывов, все клиенты будут Ваши! Отзывы размещаются практически любые, в том числе от анонимных авторов! Отзыв размещается с гарантией, у конкурента не будет шансов снять его с публикации! Наш сайт www.otzyvru.com – это Ваш шанс обойти конкурента на повороте!

[Гость]

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[Гость]

Hong Kong plans to install thousands of surveillance cameras. Critics say it’s more proof the city is moving closer to China
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Glance up while strolling through parts of downtown Hong Kong and, chances are, you’ll notice the glassy black lens of a surveillance camera trained on the city’s crowded streets.

And that sight will become more common in the coming years, as the city’s police pursue an ambitious campaign to install thousands of cameras to elevate their surveillance capabilities.

Though it consistently ranks among the world’s safest big cities, police in the Asian financial hub say the new cameras are needed to fight crime – and have raised the possibility of equipping them with powerful facial recognition and artificial intelligence tools.

That’s sparked alarm among some experts who see it as taking Hong Kong one step closer to the pervasive surveillance systems of mainland China, warning of the technology’s repressive potential.

Hong Kong police had previously set a target of installing 2,000 new surveillance cameras this year, and potentially more than that each subsequent year. The force plans to eventually introduce facial recognition to these cameras, security chief Chris Tang told local media in July – adding that police could use AI in the future to track down suspects.
In a statement to CNN, the Hong Kong Police Force said it was studying how police in other countries use surveillance cameras, including how they use AI. But it’s not clear how many of the new cameras may have facial recognition capabilities, or whether there’s a timeline for when the tech will be introduced.

Tang and the Hong Kong police have repeatedly pointed to other jurisdictions, including Western democracies, that also make wide use of surveillance cameras for law enforcement. For instance, Singapore has 90,000 cameras and the United Kingdom has more than seven million, Tang told local newspaper Sing Tao Daily in June.

While some of those places, like the UK, have started using facial recognition cameras, experts say these early experiments have highlighted the need for careful regulation and privacy protections. Hong Kong police told CNN they would “comply with relevant laws” and follow strong internal guidelines – but haven’t elaborated in depth on what that would look like.

[Гость]

Hong Kong plans to install thousands of surveillance cameras. Critics say it’s more proof the city is moving closer to China
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Glance up while strolling through parts of downtown Hong Kong and, chances are, you’ll notice the glassy black lens of a surveillance camera trained on the city’s crowded streets.

And that sight will become more common in the coming years, as the city’s police pursue an ambitious campaign to install thousands of cameras to elevate their surveillance capabilities.

Though it consistently ranks among the world’s safest big cities, police in the Asian financial hub say the new cameras are needed to fight crime – and have raised the possibility of equipping them with powerful facial recognition and artificial intelligence tools.

That’s sparked alarm among some experts who see it as taking Hong Kong one step closer to the pervasive surveillance systems of mainland China, warning of the technology’s repressive potential.

Hong Kong police had previously set a target of installing 2,000 new surveillance cameras this year, and potentially more than that each subsequent year. The force plans to eventually introduce facial recognition to these cameras, security chief Chris Tang told local media in July – adding that police could use AI in the future to track down suspects.
In a statement to CNN, the Hong Kong Police Force said it was studying how police in other countries use surveillance cameras, including how they use AI. But it’s not clear how many of the new cameras may have facial recognition capabilities, or whether there’s a timeline for when the tech will be introduced.

Tang and the Hong Kong police have repeatedly pointed to other jurisdictions, including Western democracies, that also make wide use of surveillance cameras for law enforcement. For instance, Singapore has 90,000 cameras and the United Kingdom has more than seven million, Tang told local newspaper Sing Tao Daily in June.

While some of those places, like the UK, have started using facial recognition cameras, experts say these early experiments have highlighted the need for careful regulation and privacy protections. Hong Kong police told CNN they would “comply with relevant laws” and follow strong internal guidelines – but haven’t elaborated in depth on what that would look like.

[Гость]

Ваш микрозайм одобрен - выдача в день обращения

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АНТИСПАМ MAIL.RU пометило это письмо опасным!

В России спам-рассылку писем запрещает Кодекс РФ об административных правонарушениях (статья 14.3.)
и Федеральный закон РФ «О рекламе» (статья 18, п. 1).
Жалобы на спам подают в Управление Федеральной антимонопольной службы (УФАС)
и в Роскомнадзор (rkn.gov.ru/treatments/ask-question/).

[Гость]

Narwhals may be using their tusks to play, new study finds
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Scientists say they have the first recorded video evidence of narwhals using tusks not only to strike and manipulate fish during feeding but also engage in what appears to be playful behavior, according to the latest research.

The narwhal, often referred to as the “unicorn of the sea” in a nod to its trademark tusk, has long remained an enigma. Scientists have observed few interactions of narwhals in their natural habitat, creating speculation about the purpose of the species’ distinctive spiraling tusk.
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Found predominantly in males, the tusk grows up to 10 feet (3 meters) long — and previous research has suggested it serves as a competitive display to secure mates. But now, with the help of drones, research conducted in the Canadian High Arctic has uncovered that a narwhal may use its tusk for more than just courtship.

In total, the researchers newly identified and described 17 distinct behaviors of narwhals involving prey. The findings revealed a wide range of interactions and dynamics between narwhals and fish as well as the extraordinary agility, precision and speed of their tusks to track moving targets, according to the study published February 27 in the journal Frontiers in Marine Science.

“Seeing that these animals are not actually hunting the fish but exploring, manipulating and interacting with it was really a game changer,” said lead author Dr. Gregory O’Corry-Crowe, a research professor in the Harbor Branch Oceanographic Institute at Florida Atlantic University.

Since so little is understood about this whale species, researchers like O’Corry-Crowe and his colleagues are working diligently to conduct studies to document narwhals’ unknown behaviors to better understand how these animals adapt in a rapidly shifting habitat as oceans warm and sea ice melts.
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The study team captured the groundbreaking footage using drones in Creswell Bay, on the eastern side of Somerset Island in Canada’s Nunavut territory, during the summer of 2022.

As the researchers analyzed the footage, they noticed subtle nuances in the narwhals’ behavior. Footage even captured one instance of a narwhal interacting with a fish by repeatedly nudging it with its tusk — which is actually a giant tooth — without attempting to eat it.

When researchers observed a lack of aggression in some interactions between narwhals and fish, they realized these scenarios were more similar to a cat-and-mouse game, in which the animals were chasing or “playing” rather than hunting, O’Corry-Crowe said.

[Гость]

Americans nearing retirement and recent retirees said they were anxious and frustrated following a second day of market turmoil that hit their 401(k)s after President Donald Trump’s escalation of tariffs.

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As the impending tariffs shook the global economy Friday, people who were planning on their retirement accounts to carry them through their golden years said the economic chaos was hitting too close to home.

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Some said they are pausing big-ticket purchases and reconsidering home renovations, while others said they fear their quality of life will be adversely affected by all the turmoil.

“I’m just kind of stunned, and with so much money in the market, we just sort of have to hope we have enough time to recover,” said Paula, 68, a former occupational health professional in New Jersey who retired three years ago.

Paula, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because she feared retaliation for speaking out against Trump administration policies, said she was worried about what lies ahead.
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“What we’ve been doing is trying to enjoy the time that we have, but you want to be able to make it last,” Paula said Friday. “I have no confidence here.”

Trump fulfilled his campaign promise this week to unleash sweeping tariffs, including on the United States’ largest trading partners, in a move that has sparked fears of a global trade war. The decision sent the stock market spinning. On Friday afternoon, the broad-based S&P 500 closed down 6%, the tech-heavy Nasdaq dropped 5.8%, and the Dow Jones Industrial Average fell more than 2,200 points, or about 5.5%.

[Гость]

Trailer trucks queue to cross into the United States at the Otay Mesa Port of Entry, in Tijuana, Mexico, November 27, 2024. Jorge Duenes/Reuters
New York
CNN
—
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Since President Donald Trump won the election in November, businesses across the globe have been bracing for higher tariffs — a key Day One promise the president made.

But over a week into his presidency, Trump has yet to enact any new tariffs.
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That could change, come 11:59 p.m. ET on Saturday — the deadline Trump set for when he says he will slap 25% tariffs on all Mexican and Canadian goods and a 10% tariff on all Chinese goods.

The tariffs, he said, will be imposed as a way of punishing the three nations, which Trump claims are responsible for helping people enter the country illegally and supplying fentanyl consumed in the US.

Speaking to reporters from the Oval Office on Thursday, Trump said he meant business, especially with his tariff threats on Mexico and Canada. White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt also confirmed on Friday that Trump will levy the 10% tariff on China on Saturday.
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Should these threats be believed? Yes and no, said Trump’s former Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross.
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The threat of blanket tariffs is likely being overstated, Ross said in an interview with CNN. “There probably will be exclusions, because there are some goods that just are not made here, will not be made here, and therefore, there’s no particular point putting tariffs on.”

Ross, who was one of a handful of initial cabinet members in Trump’s first administration who kept their position for the entire four-year term, said he advocated for such exclusions when he advised Trump on tariff policies.



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[Гость]

Giselle Ruemke was a Canadian traveler in her 50s who had, it turned out, a number of things in common with Savery Moore.
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For one, she’d always wanted to travel across Canada on The Canadian. “Taking the train was one of these bucket list things for me,” Giselle tells CNN Travel today.

And, like Savery, Giselle’s spouse had recently died of cancer.

Giselle and her late husband Dave had been friends for decades before they started dating. Within a few whirlwind years they’d fallen in love, got married and navigated Dave’s cancer diagnosis together.
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Then Dave passed away in the summer of 2023, leaving Giselle unmoored and unsure of the future.

In the wake of her grief, booking the trip on The Canadian seemed, to Giselle, “like a good way to connect with myself and see my country, refresh my spirit, a little bit.”

Like Savery, Giselle had always dreamed of taking the VIA Rail Canadian with her late spouse. And like Savery, she’d decided traveling solo was a way of honoring her partner.

“That trip is something that I would have really liked to have done with my husband, Dave. So that was why I was taking the train,” Giselle says today.

But unlike Savery, Giselle hadn’t booked prestige class. She admits she was “sticking it to the man” in her own small way by sitting in the reserved seats that first day.

She’d only moved when Savery arrived. She tells CNN Travel, laughing, that she’d thought to herself: “I better get out of the seat, in case someone prestige wants to sit in that spot.”

Giselle didn’t tell Savery any of this in their first conversation. In fact, she didn’t share much about her life at all in that first encounter.

But Giselle liked his company right away. He was friendly, enthusiastic and respectful — sharing that he was a widower and indicating he knew about Giselle’s loss without prying about the circumstances.

As for Savery, he says, it was “the common bond, the losses of our respective loved ones” that first made him feel a connection to Giselle. But it was also obvious that for Giselle, the loss was much fresher. She clearly didn’t want to talk about Dave that day.

[Гость]

Editor’s Note: Call to Earth is a CNN editorial series committed to reporting on the environmental challenges facing our planet, together with the solutions. Rolex’s Perpetual Planet Initiative has partnered with CNN to drive awareness and education around key sustainability issues and to inspire positive action.

CNN Кракен тор
—
Crashing waves, glistening sea spray, a calm expanse of deep blue. These are the images that open “Ocean with David Attenborough,” the veteran broadcaster’s latest film. After decades of sharing stories of life on our planet, he tells viewers that: “The most important place on Earth is not on land but at sea.”

The film — released in cinemas today and available to stream globally on Disney+ and Hulu in June — coincides with Attenborough’s 99th birthday, and describes how the ocean has changed during his lifetime.
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“Over the last hundred years, scientists and explorers have revealed remarkable new species, epic migrations and dazzling, complex ecosystems beyond anything I could have imagined as a young man,” he says in a press release. “In this film, we share those wonderful discoveries, uncover why our ocean is in such poor health, and, perhaps most importantly, show how it can be restored to health.”

The feature-length documentary takes viewers on a journey to coral reefs, kelp forests and towering seamounts, showcasing the wonders of the underwater world and the vital role the ocean plays in defending Earth against climate catastrophe as its largest carbon sink.
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But the ocean also faces terrible threats. The film was shot as the planet experienced an extreme marine heatwave and shows the effects of the resulting mass coral bleaching: expansive graveyards of bright white coral, devoid of sea life.

Extraordinary footage shot off the coast of Britain and in the Mediterranean Sea shows the scale of destruction from industrial fishing. Bottom trawlers are filmed towing nets with a heavy chain along the seafloor, indiscriminately catching creatures in their path and churning up dense clouds of carbon-rich sediment.

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[Гость]

Tbilisi, Georgia — Jailed journalist Mzia Amaghlobeli gets weaker every day as her hunger strike has reached three weeks in Rustavi, a town near the Georgian capital of Tbilisi, her lawyer says. Now the 49-year-old is having difficulty walking the short distance from her cell to the room where they usually meet, and human rights officials, colleagues and family fear for her life.
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Amaghlobeli was arrested Jan. 12 during an anti-government protest in the coastal city of Batumi, one of over 40 people in custody on criminal charges from a series of demonstrations that have hit the South Caucasus nation of 3.7 million in recent months.
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The political turmoil follows a parliamentary election that was won by the ruling Georgian Dream party, although its opponents allege the vote was rigged.

Protests highlight battle over Georgia's future. Here's why it matters.
Its outcome pushed Georgia further into Russia's orbit of influence. Georgia aspired to join the European Union, but the party suspended accession talks with the bloc after the election.

As it sought to cement its grip on power, Georgian Dream has cracked down on freedom of assembly and expression in what the opposition says is similar to President Vladimir Putin's actions in neighboring Russia, its former imperial ruler.
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